Trauma & EMDR

When Something Is Over, But Your System Doesn't Know It Yet

Trauma doesn't always feel like remembering something that happened.

Sometimes it looks like being constantly on guard.

Sometimes it is a reaction that seems much bigger than the moment.

Sometimes it is shutting down, disconnecting, overthinking, controlling, avoiding, or feeling like you have to stay one step ahead of everything.

And sometimes you know exactly what happened, but your body and nervous system seem to have their own version of the story.

You may find yourself thinking:

I know I'm safe. Why don't I feel safe?

I know this is over. Why does it still feel so close?

Why does this situation affect me so much?

Therapy can be a place to understand those responses without judging them.

We Don't Have to Force the Story

I don't believe trauma therapy has to mean immediately talking through everything that happened.

Sometimes the most important work happens around the edges of the story.

We may begin by understanding what your system does now.

What makes you pull away?

What makes you become hyperaware?

What happens when you feel vulnerable?

What part of you learned to stay ready?

What happens when you begin to feel something you have spent a long time trying not to feel?

I pay attention to those protective responses rather than treating them as obstacles to therapy.

They usually have a reason for being there.

EMDR

EMDR can help when experiences from the past continue to influence the way you experience yourself, your relationships, your body, or the world around you.

I use EMDR as part of an integrative approach rather than treating it as a stand-alone technique.

We pay attention to readiness, your ability to stay connected to yourself, and what your system needs as we move through the work.

Sometimes that means processing a specific memory.

Sometimes it means working with the beliefs that developed around what happened.

Sometimes the work is less about the event itself and more about what you learned about yourself because of it.

You do not have to be ready to tell every detail before we begin.

The Parts That Helped You Survive

Trauma often leaves people with protective parts that learned to do very specific jobs.

A part that stays vigilant.

A part that keeps everything under control.

A part that disconnects.

A part that becomes angry.

A part that tries to make sure nothing ever happens again.

A part that says, Don't let anyone get that close.

I don't want to take those parts away.

They helped you get here.

Instead, we can become curious about what they have been carrying and what might become possible if they no longer have to work quite so hard.

Returning to Yourself

Trauma work isn't simply about remembering the past.

It can also be about discovering that you have more capacity in the present than you once did.

You may notice yourself feeling something difficult—and coming back.

You may recognize a trigger without being completely consumed by it.

You may begin to trust your own perceptions.

You may discover that you can be connected to someone without abandoning yourself.

Sometimes the most meaningful moments are very small:

There it is. You went up, and you came down.

You felt something you were afraid you couldn't feel.

And you returned to yourself.

That matters.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

Trauma therapy can be deeply personal work.

We will move at a pace that allows you to remain connected to yourself rather than forcing you to go somewhere before you're ready.

There can be depth without rushing.

There can be silence.

There can be curiosity.

There can even be humor.

And there can be a place for the parts of you that aren't ready to come forward yet.

You don't have to stop protecting yourself before we understand what you're protecting.